Feech (feech) wrote,

Escape to Wisconsin: Field Guide

Q: What kind of tree is that?

A: Box elder.

Q: I saw a bird--

A: Grackle.

Q: Bigger.

A: Canada goose, then.

Q: No, no-- bigger. It looked like a deer grazing in the fields. I was afraid it would run in front of my car.

A: Sandhill crane.

Q: Oh, okay. How can I identify an actual deer?

A: Identify it by its height-- above your knee at the shoulder and not a bird.

Q: Why, what's below my knee at the shoulder?

A: Raccoon.

Q: Okay but I saw something friendly that was below my knee, too.

A: Below the knee and friendly equals barn cat.

Q: What about above the knee?

A: Above the knee and unfriendly: Angus bull.

Q: Got it! Now I'm going fishing in Wisconsin.

A: Excellent.

Q: I got a bite.

A: Did you catch anything?

Q: No.

A: That was a perch. They're good eating.

Q: Now I caught something.

A: Fat or thin?

Q: Obscenely fat.

A: Bullhead!

Q: And if it had been thin?

A: Either a bluegill or a weed.

Enjoy your summer in our beautiful state.
Tags: wildlife, wisconsin

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