A Tales of the Starbuck Avenger!!! fan fiction
"On September 11th, 2009, the invasive spiny water flea (Bythotrephes longimanus) was discovered by the limnology class at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, making it the third known inland lake to harbor this species in Wisconsin."
--Wikipedia entry on Lake Mendota
"So teh speike s culd be released and liek flye trhourh the air. It was a shiney black amsbinomation. Which it was like farmiliar crazey scaryu to Tricia AKA THE STARBUCK AVENGER becaze she had a rtaormatic expreience from berfrore like in my pervious story. But she said bralvely, Brign it on Bitch. Okay."
--The Laek Abdomniation (tentative title), work in progress, proofread pending. By Bruce Carmichael
"Let's hella fight crime and do justice all night and have a cuppa coffee in my Starbucks before it opens."
I was on the phone, talking to Mebby, aka The Corpseflower. Opening your story with dialogue is one way to, like, give it some "punch".
"I will dig you down at tha lake shore. Crime buzzin on that front."
"Serously? Crime? Crime we can fight? What's the skinny?"
"Tha Bible preaches it out like thi-- is. Dingo Gang is hell of back in town. Starbuck Avenger."
I alertly inquired into the situation 'n' shit. "Who the fuck are the Dingo Gang?"
"Basically it is not a are but a is," said Mebby. "That is tha v-- villain's name."
"You can explain it to me when we get there," I answered, all raring to go. I had a brand new pair of sweat socks and when they're all brand new like that, when they haven't even formed to your big toe and they fit without any wrinkles, your feet feel hella heroically smooth inside your track shoes and you're fit to fight some serious crimes. My tiara could have used a little buffing or maybe a re-paint with silver spray paint, but I was kinda warming to its beat-up old flair and I imagined it looking gritty and heroic under streetlamps when we patrolled Madison overnight. A beat-up tiara might look more intimidating than just a normal shiny new one, I thought. You know, the way guys in movies look tougher with scars. You don't mess with the guy with the scar, Dude. Which never made much sense really because the guys with the scars are kinda losers of some kinda fight at some point, right?
"Dogg. I would with your permission lay a question on you."
Silence totally fell upon the phone line. I had learned by now to keep my mouth shut while this went on, but let me tell you something, folks, it was difficult for me. I knew that, on the other end, Mebby was waiting, like a kid watching double jump ropes whipping around crazy fast, for a break in an extended stutter where she could jump in and say a word without getting smacked upside the head by the rope, which is metaphorical. The hard part is that I am a chatterer. I chat. I also fill silences not because I don't like silence (I totally, like, do) but because I can usually think of something to say even if it turns out to be stupid later. I waited in suspense, humming the theme song from Night Court in my head to avoid from talking out loud, until Mebby leapt into her next sentence with a triumphant, solemn public radio voice, slipping a relieved word in edgewise on herself.
"Cat I know from tha internet and have dug a few blacks downtown desires to latch a glim on your fine self. C--- can he meet us in the brightenin'."
"Sure, fine, bring a friend." I was so relieved to be talking again I added, "Coffee's on me."
"Check that." Mebby hung up.
I dashed out the door of my apartment into the dingy hall, weilding my fiberglass javelin, then dashed out the next door into the blue twilight. Then I dashed back in through each door, thinking, as usual, that I should really work up a pre-heroing checklist or something. I grabbed my work apron and flung it over my back. I curled my comfortable toes in their shiny new wrinkle-free cotton blend socks, looked at myself in the mirror one more time, straightened my tiara, and totally took off for some great justice by the lake shore.
Horror in the Cornfield
fanfitcion copyright by Bruce Carmichael except the superheroes are copyright by there corprate owenrs.
Work in Progresis feed back welcome
I'm planning on shwoing this to (*PEOPLE who appear in it* so i want to make it one of my best so far
Okay so. When we last left off Patricia Hocking had been in he Absolvatrons laer, which was it looked like a meperment situation. However. Mebweth Hull aka THE CORPSEFLOWER (I have acktuly seen this plant folks rally true story it is on display in the University were I have to go for my job sometiems!!) anyway the Absolvatron... had in mind to lur Jarrod Stokes aka HAWKHEAD... to his dungin for confession...
Mebweth was traking Patricia that is STARBUCK AVENGER to his laer. n she foudn Patricia there and unshajkled her wreists and feet.
Oh my God Mebweth it is so good to see you you have no idea.
Yes yes,. said Mebweth that is CORPSEFLOWEr trie to be calm now. IT is the way of The TURE hero to be calm in all sitruations even if she is attached sto stone walls it is ok, now, I need, you to hep me so you have to come with me I have did tracked you here.
"WellOkay," said Tricia... often Mebweth called Patricia Tricia... because they were entimate friends do to fighting super villians together.
Mebweth that is Corpseflower has not been discribed very much on this forums so I wanted to take a monite and do that.
Mebweth aka Corpseflower is leik a gothy Chick but she knowes cool Shaft liek slang. Also she has a litlle pouty mouth and she can talke to plants. Plus she wars pure gold jewly in the shape on ivy leafs.
Tricia is basiclalyy my fave super hero... so I want to go to what she looks like too though we all now but can't have enough of it righet???????
Reight. on. Yeah she has long bronw hair yet it glows gold when her form is turned to look lieke STARBUCK AVENGER. She has been homecoming Queen of her school and I here it is right here in WISCONSIN... whatis her hisgh school I mean
fuck sory for all the typoes folls I will clean it up fproofereads welcome I will trade proeforeads.
Anyway yeh... Tricia I mean Patricia Hocking might be from here in Wuisconsin in that case I think she is from RIO so can we put that in th canonplz.
Tricia has perfect breasts and wares formfitting uniform from Starbucks and as we all know her starbucks Logo grows brightly when she is STARBUCK Avenger. Also... her feet are very ladlylike.
You know the Rio ladies sports teams are called Lady vikings perhaps there is a story in that.
So Our two heroines left Absolvatrons laer but it was not that easy .for .l think working for Absolvatron now is MUSKRAT has that been agreed uopon.??
Or is he a supervillain now or what?
And what was with the lake monster did anyone deciede about that? I havent read all of Tony Z. 's and Harold aka GRUNGEDOG that is on our own foreum ... I havent read all there latest stuff so I dont want to get in cofncusion so it anyone has read it please wiegh in plz.
Okay... MUSKRAT met Mebweth and Patricia at the church grate that was the opening to Absolvatrons laer.
Where do you ladies thing you are going?? He asked in his so sppooky creepy squeaky voice.
"Well we think we are leaving, " said Mebweth that is Corpseflower. "what do you think jive turkey."
"Wate a minute aretn you the one who talks to plants" said Muskrat.
poitenting a claw
Yep said Mebweth aka Corpseflower
I have a job for you. said Muskrat. Conme with me.
Okay, so, Lake Mendota. The Capitol was there, across the water, white as a moon. This time of evening, before it was fully dark, the shine on it looked like jewelry. Mebby, a-k-a The Corpseflower, was standing on the shore, cape lapping to the side like the little waves that rolled evenly in and ducked under themselves at the lakeside. I swept up behind her, coming alongside in the grass that had already curled up and turned dry for autumn; using a semi-colon to clarify that it was me and not the grass doing the gripping, I gripped a hem of my cape-apron and gazed out over the twilight reflection on the water. It was totally a legitimate heroine meet-up stance I had taken. Look on my countenance in profile a minute, if you would. Then I have to itch my nose.