A: Box elder.
Q: I saw a bird--
A: Canada goose, then.
Q: No, no-- bigger. It looked like a deer grazing in the fields. I was afraid it would run in front of my car.
A: Sandhill crane.
Q: Oh, okay. How can I identify an actual deer?
A: Identify it by its height-- above your knee at the shoulder and not a bird.
Q: Why, what's below my knee at the shoulder?
Q: Okay but I saw something friendly that was below my knee, too.
A: Below the knee and friendly equals barn cat.
Q: What about above the knee?
A: Above the knee and unfriendly: Angus bull.
Q: Got it! Now I'm going fishing in Wisconsin.
Q: I got a bite.
A: Did you catch anything?
A: That was a perch. They're good eating.
Q: Now I caught something.
A: Fat or thin?
Q: Obscenely fat.
Q: And if it had been thin?
A: Either a bluegill or a weed.
Enjoy your summer in our beautiful state.